Friday, February 17, 2012

Do I WHAT?!

I answer surveys now and then that net me points to use towards free rooms at hotels. They are usually about what insurance I have or plan to have, new cars I plan to buy, or consumer products I may or may not use. Well, tonight I got one that started out with some questions about whether or not I had purchased or leased a new automobile or certain brands of automobiles, or purchased a new computer for personal use. I answered "yes" to the computer question. And that led me to....

...questions about toilet paper. In fact, the first question was "Do you, in the course of your normal day, use toilet paper?" Do I WHAT???!!!! I was laughing so hard my laptop almost fell off my lap! I don't know about you, little ones, but for me NOT using toilet paper during the course of a day would make it a quite ABnormal day. The questions just got weirder from there: "Does using toilet paper give you a superior bathroom experience?" Well, using it beats the heck outa not having any available - but of course that wasn't an option, so I answered "yes." "Do you like to be pampered at the end of your bathroom experience?" Ummm, pampered how? Vallet service? Personal massage? Someone cleaning the damn toilet for me? Again, none of those were options, so I answered "no." "Does toilet paper work for you?" Pretty much. "Do you prefer using moist wipes?" Well, no cuz that would get damned expensive damned fast, but again, not an answer option, so I went with just "no."

And just when I thought I was done with this insightful survey I was asked if I had a web cam on my computer, to which I answered "yes." And then I was asked if I'd be willing to engage in further questions using the web cam. Well, that's when I figured things were just getting way too weird, so I answered "no" and ended my survey experience.

Watch out for those surveys, little ones...they can sometimes surprise you. ;)

And now I'm off to spend some quality time in the course of my normal day...in the bathroom...probably using toilet paper.

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